Keeking Secrets,

You know how people ask you questions that always lead to more questions that always end up too complicated to explain the whole story behind it...Today this person that asked me a Question.. It created a situation which I had to reflect back in my life where I didnt want to explain details.. So I chose to keep that my secret and just answer the question in a simple answer.. It may not have been a Lie,, but I Chose to not explain the details.  Most of my friends all know that my little Sister Kayla died in a car accident in 2004, But when I meet new people, some how the topic is always brought up.. and I just dont want to go there sometimes.  It opens up other questions, or they give you this look of pity.or awkward silence. And I am the one who has to see their judgmental faces while they process this information.. I just think its weird to say, Oh by the way,, I have a sister who Died.. but try not to look at me like I have a disability, cause Im not Broken. ........ It feels like every time I meet new people the topic of ,, (how many kids are in my family? or do you have younger siblings? always finds its way to me.,, Am I keeping secrets? ... I try to avoid the topics as much as possible. Not that I want to forget or erase Kayla, I just dont want that to be the defining "first impression" of a new friendship.... today,, the very topic came up.. Oh Joyce how many Kids are in your family.. I didnt hesitate when I replied I have 3 Older brothers and 2 Older sisters. But when I heard the words come out of my mouth, I felt Guilty...This way the other person just smiles and continues with the usual going down the row  asking about each Brother and Sister..where they live and such,, And I get to avoid the tragic event in my life... But this time,, This day, it felt different,,, I felt Bad about the Answer I gave. Like I had Broken a Promise. Or lost the trust of a friend. I dont know why it was different today.. but I know that awkward moment I was trying to avoid was still there.. Sure the other person was not aware I had a little sister,that i chose not to name..But inside I still knew....I realized today that I cant avoid something that is a part of me...  I cant pretend events in my life didnt happen just so Im not reminded -life is Not sunshine all the time-.. Things happen.. and it shouldnt be this awkward to talk about it....